By Brenda Wallace // Christian Marriage // EEW Magazine Online

Marriage is a sacred bond that many Christians enter into with the hope of a lifetime of love and devotion. However, we must also acknowledge that Christian marriages, just as secular ones, can be complex and filled with various challenges.

In this list of Top 10 reasons Christian marriages end, EEW Magazine Online will explore the common issues that can lead to the dissolution of these unions.

It is important to note that every marriage is unique, and these reasons may not apply to every Christian couple. However, gaining insight into these factors can provide understanding and perspective for those navigating their own marital journeys.

1. Infidelity: Numerous studies, including a 2018 Barna Group report, found that infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce among Christian couples. The study mentioned that "more than one-third (37 percent) of divorced Christians say infidelity played a role in their divorces."

2. Financial Struggles: Financial stress can create tension and disagreements within a marriage. According to 2018 study by the Pew Research Center, "roughly three-in-ten U.S. adults who are married or living with a partner say they have disagreed about money with their spouse or partner within the past year.”

3. Lack of Emotional Support: In a 2015 study published in the Journal of Family Issues, researchers found that deficiencies in emotional support contributed to marital dissatisfaction and increased divorce rates among Christian couples. Practicing good listening skills, empathy, and being attentive to the marriage partner is critical to success.

4. Unrealistic Expectations: A common misconception is that entering a Christian marriage will automatically solve any pre-existing relationship issues. The Barna Group found in 2018 that "among Christian marriages ending in divorce, unrealistic expectations were cited by 64 percent of respondents as contributing factors.”

5. Communication Breakdown: Poor communication often leads to misunderstandings, arguments, and ultimately divorce. A study published in Family Process found that effective communication is crucial for maintaining a successful Christian marriage. Ineffective communication leads to the inability to resolve inevitable conflicts, yelling matches, and overall silent treatment that further deteriorates an already struggling marriage.

6. Differences in Parenting Styles: Disagreements on how to raise children can deeply affect a marriage, causing severe conflicts and breakdowns in relationships. Issues like discipline styles, divergent views on leniency and freedom, and spending habits of dependents can cause a husband-and-wife team to bump heads. According to Pew Research Center, "Among those who are parents, about four-in-ten (42%) say they have had disagreements over finances related to raising their children.”

7. Incompatibility: Issues surrounding compatibility may arise from differences in values, viewpoints, politics and lifestyle choices, or simply finding it difficult to coexist happily together over time. According to a 2015 Pew Research study, 37% of Christians cited incompatibility as a cause for divorce. This includes spiritual incompatibility, where both partners may identify as Christians, but differences in theological beliefs or levels of spiritual maturity significantly hinder unity and impede marital success.

8. Addiction: Addiction issues are prevalent among both secular and religious communities, often causing irreparable damage within relationships and families. Alcohol, drug, and pornography addictions can strain marriages to the breaking point. The Barna Group in 2018 reported that "a quarter of divorced Christians (27%) say addiction was a factor in the dissolution of their marriage.” Data from the Journal of Addiction Medicine also confirms a strong correlation between substance abuse and marital dissolution, especially in marriages plagued by alcohol misuse.

9. Abuse: Tragically, domestic violence—often, though not always, linked to substance abuse— can be found across faith communities as well. The National Domestic Violence Hotline reports that approximately one in three women and one in four men experience some form of physical violence by an intimate partner during their lifetimes. Religious couples are not exempt. In a nationwide survey by The Barna Group, roughly 20% of those who had experienced divorce identified abuse—physical, emotional, or psychological—as the primary cause behind the end of their marriage.

10. Mental health issues: The coupling of mental health struggles and marital distress can create a destructive cycle leading to divorce. Research from the National Library of Medicine emphasizes the need for proper care and support for couples and individuals facing mental health challenges. According to a 2020 Barna study, while half of all practicing Christians (53%) turn to a loved one for support in hard times—whether related to mental health issues or not—only one in four (26%) say they turned to a professional counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist which can be necessary and extremely helpful in a given situation depending on how dire.

Marriage is a journey that requires continuous effort, understanding, and commitment from both partners. While it is disheartening to acknowledge the reasons Christian marriages may come to an end, it is important to confront these challenges with honesty and seek resolution.

By addressing these issues head-on and utilizing resources available within the Christian faith, couples can work towards finding reconciliation and redemption, allowing their marriages to flourish and thrive once again.

Let us remember that grace, forgiveness, and God's guidance are invaluable tools in navigating the trials and tribulations that may arise in any marriage.