Are you creating an environment in your marriage for an affair? Tina Campbell says she was
Written By Joy Hamilton // EEW Magazine // Marriage
Though infidelity is never justifiable, it can be examined more closely in order to understand what, perhaps, led to a spouse’s unfaithfulness.
Gospel recording artist, Tina Campbell, whose husband Teddy Campbell had multiple extramarital affairs over the course of 10 years, admits during a stimulating conversation with Dr. Caroline Leaf, that she helped create the toxic environment in her marriage that opened the door to infidelity.
Campbell candidly reveals her heart during part one of a two-part interview on The Dr. Leaf Show, hosted on YouTube.
The member of the sister-duo “Mary Mary” says she does not take the blame for Teddy’s actions which she discovered 5 years ago, noting that his “affair was not my sin.” Nevertheless, she owns up to her own shortcomings.
“My sin was to be very disrespectful, very demeaning. I emasculated my husband,” the “Too Hard Not To” songstress tells Dr. Caroline Leaf, who is a cognitive neuroscientist who holds a PhD in Communication Pathology and a BSc in Logopedics and Audiology, specializing in metacognitive and cognitive neuropsychology.
Dr. Leaf chimes in, “It’s not an excuse for an affair, but what you’re describing is an atmosphere in your marriage that was being created.”
Dr. Leaf further points out that, though Tina’s hardness and poor treatment of Teddy, who had confidence issues and felt unneeded, was not right, “he could have reacted differently.”
Throughout the chat, a strong distinction is made between personal accountability and accepting blame for someone else’s failings. The two are not the same.
For those who are seeking a really good tip for a strong and happy marriage, Dr. Leaf offers this: “If you look at your spouse as someone who’s got to meet your need, that’s the wrong way of doing it, because we are not there to meet each other’s needs. We’re there to support and love each other.”
Dr. Leaf calls that approach “healthy entanglement.”
Watch the full conversation below.