By Evvie Thomas // Biblical Wisdom & Empowerment // EEW Magazine Online

Credit: Getty/Delmaine Donson/EEW Magazine

Jesus tells you to “love your neighbor as you love yourself” (Matthew 22:39). What does that mean? Is your self-love strong enough that your neighbor would benefit from receiving it?

Self-love in its basic form means to have an overall positive view of yourself, to fully accept yourself, treat yourself with kindness and respect, and to nurture yourself in a way that promotes personal growth and well-being. This does not mean you view yourself as an image of perfection but as a quality individual, God’s special creation, possessing great value.

The more you love yourself—not in a narcissistic way but in the way that God intended—the more you can love others. So, the question then becomes, how can I possess and maximize the kind of self-love that is divine?

EEW Magazine Online has you covered; here are 3 ways.

#1 Work on your self-perception. Your mirror reflection is not as important as your self-perception. How you see, not what you see, determines your attitude, behavior, and potential. Ask yourself, what do I see when I look at myself? Do you pick out all your flaws and zone in on your insecurities?

If so, Ephesians 2:10 can help you. It says, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” You are the workmanship of God the creator, divinely crafted and purposed to do good things.

When you work on your self-perception by reframing your image—or, in other words, seeing yourself in the image of God—this will promote self-love. You will recognize that you are uniquely crafted for a purpose and made to shine bright for God’s glory.

#2 Focus on what matters. Research shows that the beauty industry will be worth more than $570 billion in 2023. The plastic surgery market has already reached almost $400 million and is expected to exceed $530 million by 2027. It’s safe to say that more than a few people are fixated on being appealing to people instead of focusing on what matters: being pleasing to God.

In 1 Samuel 16:7, God told the Prophet Samuel, “People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” Beauty in God’s sight does not come from external enhancements but spiritual transformation that causes one to radiate beauty from the inside out (1 Peter 3:3-4 ).

When you begin to love what God loves, then you will see your close relationship with Him as your most positive attribute. While the world says put on new makeup, Scripture says, “Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy” (Ephesians 4:24). This is what He loves to see.

#3 Intentionally highlight the good. If you look for a reason to harshly critique yourself, you will find it. Self-love requires deliberate action. Examine your thoughts. Don’t allow everything and everyone to define you. A good quote often attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt says, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” If you have allowed the words, opinions, and actions of others—including yourself—to make you feel small, you have the power to disallow it.

To break the toxic habit of obsessing over perceived negative traits, a good place to start is in Philippians 4:8: “Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” What things can you identify about yourself that are pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy? Think about these things on purpose. Highlight the good.

It's okay to validate yourself and celebrate the good attributes God has blessed you with, if you do so with humility and not arrogance, of course. To be humble is to acknowledge where your blessings come from, not deny that they exist. As you focus on the good on purpose, your self-love will increase.

A Prayer: God, sometimes, I am so hard on myself. I point out every flaw instead of the beauty and blessings you have given me. Please help me to love myself by seeing myself in the context of what Your unfailing word says about me. As I love me more, I will love others more. In Jesus’ name, Amen.