By Natasha Harris // Empowerment // EEW Magazine Online

My mother used to blast Mary J. Blige’s song “No More Drama,” but our house was full of chaos, craziness, and toxic energy. Though my mom and I had a strained relationship before she died of a heroin overdose 12 years ago, I could tell she wanted to live a better, more peaceful life. She just never got the chance.

My father was a mean, abusive drunk, so my grandmother took me and my brother in after mom passed. She did her best raising us in the projects, but there was violence, hustling, abuse, and broken homes everywhere I looked. I wanted more than anything to have that drama-free existence Mary sang her heart out about.

How could I get to that serene, happy space?

My journey to peace began when my grandmother made me go to church with her. I was bored a lot, but I liked when the old ladies in hats caught the Holy Ghost and raved about “peace that surpasses all understanding.” Though I was in my early teens and wasn’t quite sure what they were talking about, it sure sounded good to me, and I wanted to experience that mysterious peace.

It took years and tears, ups and downs, heartache and pain, but I finally have gotten to a healthy place in my relationship with God. I personally know what it is to feel the sheer tranquility and joy I longed for all those years ago. Nowadays, I do all I can to hold on to it.

Because I like to share good stuff with my EEW Magazine Online family, here are 6 ways I stay in peace daily—and you can too!

#1 I say no. I have this written down in my journal: “I do not dishonor myself and my needs by acquiescing to things that don’t sit right in my spirit.” It’s a reminder to me to prioritize my needs. Coming from an abusive home, I tried to keep everyone around me happy to avoid drama. Unfortunately, I carried that bad habit of people-pleasing into all my relationships. It wasn’t until I began saying no to appeasing others and yes to pleasing God—and myself—that my peace increased.

#2 I mind my business. It has taken a lot of spiritual work, healing, and self-development to get to a peaceful place. That means I don’t have time to be in everyone else’s business, gossiping, judging, and snooping. If I don’t want drama in my own life, why would I insert myself into anyone else’s drama? Soul work requires looking within and asking God to work on me and make me better. Any moments I spend minding others’ business wastes opportunities for my personal growth and spiritual maturation process.

#3 I don’t compare myself. My life story is my own. My characteristics and qualities are not like everyone else’s—and I’m okay with that. I figure, the same God who gives us all unique fingerprints carves out unique paths for us, so why would I try to stuff myself into the same box as my neighbor? My grandmother told me early on, “You don’t need to be like anyone but Jesus.” That lesson got stuck in my head and comes back to me often.

#4 I pray—a lot. I used to have codependency issues. I felt the need to constantly be attached to someone and was always on the lookout for a sounding board. If I didn’t have a person around to tell my deepest secrets, worries, hopes, and dreams, I had no peace. When they couldn’t be there for me, I’d fall apart, and I grew tired of that. As I deepened my understanding of prayer and all its benefits, I started taking my burdens to God first and seeking Him for the comfort, answers, and peace I needed.

#5 I lean on my faith. Being a child of trauma, I tend to worry. I saw many bad things happen to family members and friends, and it conditioned me to fear the worst. Constant worrying is a huge disruptor of peace, so I lean heavily on my faith in God’s power to work things out. The more I trust Jesus, the better, safer, and more at ease I feel. When I get that familiar worked up feeling, I know that means I have slipped out of faith mode and into fear mode.

#6 I study and confess Scripture. This has made all the difference in the world on my quest for peace. I look up Bible verses that are relevant to my concerns by searching key words. So, if I’m worried, I study and confess Scriptures on worry. If I’m afraid, I study and confess Scriptures on fear and so on and so forth. When I say what God says about me instead of verbalizing the negative thoughts that pop into my head, the most beautiful sense of calm overwhelms me.

I have learned that peace must be stewarded and preserved. If you and I are not deliberate about the preservation of our peace, then chaos, drama, and turmoil will take over.

To avoid that happening, follow the formula laid out in Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

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