Ayesha Curry teaches us that in the age of oversharing, transparency is not always best
Article By Ann Landry // EEW Magazine // Spiritual
We live in a day and age where everyone wants to tell their truth–to be open and to be heard. But this is not always the wisest route.
Take the case of Ayesha Curry, Christian chef, cookbook author, and wife of NBA player Stephen Curry, for example. Her recent revelations that she desires male attention outside her marriage and feels insecure because many beautiful women compete for her megastar spouse’s affection, created chaos, drama, and widespread misunderstanding online.
Curry’s moment of transparency on the Jada Pinkett-Smith hosted web series, “Red Table Talk,” was analyzed, mocked, and turned into Internet fodder. When she said it “bothered” her that she received “zero male attention,” she was roundly criticized all over the Internet, with most critics casting the 30-year-old restaurateur as an attention-starved, needy, low-self-esteem-suffering, spoiled, ungrateful, rich housewife.
Many asked, why would a Christian wife be worried about what men, who are not her husband, think about her? Curry’s casual chat undeniably turned into a PR disaster. A moment of deep self-reflection backfired, proving that some conversations are best suited for prayer, or even private therapy sessions.
In response to the online blowback, the ridiculed CEO wrote on Instagram, “I have never been one to cage my feelings and emotions to any capacity. I am human. It brings me pure joy to speak my mind, be vulnerable at times and to know myself inside and out.”
She added, “I really want to take the time to encourage everyone to speak their truth regardless of perception, fitting into a mold or offending someone, because it’s YOUR truth. And that’s okay!”
But is it really okay to speak your truth simply because it’s yours? Is true authenticity and total transparency in all situations the best policy? Ideally, yes. Realistically, no.
1 Corinthians 6:12 says, "‘I have the right to do anything,’ you say—but not everything is beneficial.” Though this scripture isn’t about online etiquette, it surely applies. Transparency is not always beneficial.
Arguably, Curry was well within her rights to say what was on her mind. However, venting publicly is not proper in every context. Though Curry argued that women should “not suppress and compress our feelings and thoughts,” well, like it or not, sometimes, suppression is necessary.
Proverbs 13:3 says, “Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.” Proverbs 10:19 also says, “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.”
So then, holding your tongue is wise—and necessary—after all. Speaking your truth just because you feel like it is unwise. Saying what you want, while it is lawful, is not always beneficial. Being a woman of few words is a good thing. Being mindful of what you share is prudent. Censoring one’s self is a sign of maturity. Plainly put, it isn’t good to be vulnerable with everyone.
Though Curry asserted that “willingness to speak on your thoughts unashamedly is being secure,” the Bible teaches us in 1 Thessalonians 4:11 that we should “study to be quiet.” In this age of over-sharing, transparency is not always best, even if those are your true feelings.
Did Curry deserve the hate, scorn and public shaming she was on the receiving end of following her commentary? No, of course not. Should she, however, learn from all the hullabaloo? The answer is a resounding yes.
Some matters, feelings, thoughts, and opinions are best kept private. So then, where do believers go to vent? Great question. Glad you asked. Hebrews 4:16 gives the answer: “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
Take it to the Lord in prayer and leave it there. God is the best secret-keeper and issue-rectifier anywhere.